Part 3: Balancing Sex Work & Life: Lavender's Story

By Elle Le Blanc

Hello Sensual Souls!

This is Lady L here and today I have story number three of my sex worker series. Take a glimpse into the life of an exotic dancer & cam girl by reading the honest and heartfelt story about sex work from my next guest contributor for the month of November. It’s not all glitz and glamour, this job truly is a lot harder than it looks and most people don’t seem to realize this. So let me turn things over to my guest contributor right now and I will let her introduce herself…

One, two, three, four… seven..thirty nine…ninety eight singles! I don’t mind the time it takes to count them out anymore it did used to bother me. I feel my daughter shake the shopping cart as she helps me load the groceries; she calls me Mommy and demands a sip of my soda. I oblige, it’s the little occasions here and there.

You on the other hand can call me Lavender, and this is an average day for me. I spend my typical days with my wobbling little one, she walks and talks just like me and she’s probably a lot sweeter. I have the amazing opportunity to be at home with her all the days I have her, her father is a supportive co parent and person in general. Imagine having the opportunity to balance your life’s major loves: traveling, children, school full time; and all while making money and supporting yourself on your own schedule. It’s wonderful some days and emotionally challenging another. My name is Lavender Black; I am a mother, a student, and a sex worker.

I’m 23 years old and live out in the North West, originally located in the North East I moved over when I was 18 to a whole new life. I moved out of a toxic living situation with my family and tried to start a new life out here on my own. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, being 18 with no family or friends out here I found myself struggling to fulfill my dreams of a better life through a dead end minimum wage kitchen job. I started trying to do some low level dominatrix work online, as well as camming through multiple sites and thought it was okay. It was weird to me at first, I was so young and felt so free being in charge of when and how I was working, but as anyone who does online work can tell you, there are slow months and I found myself lurking on craigslist for some leads to a day job and there it was: Dancers wanted.

Dancing was terrifying at first, I found myself crying in the dressing room the first day I went. I worked for a few hours and I was horrified but I also was impressed. Though it was scary these people clearly thought I was pretty good. I made enough to pay my rent – twice. I quit my job as a cook, and started dancing full time. It allowed me to live, and I mean really live. I was able to go to school, travel, and pursue my passions. It’s been an incredible journey. Dancing is hard fucking work, it’s exhausting. If you could see my knees right now you’d probably be mortified! Dancing so young was emotionally draining, for me, one of the most intense issues I had was learning to tell people no, and having them respect my boundaries. It’s hard when I am trying to provide an intimate service, whether it’s a lap dance, or a pole performance, or whatever and having someone just be awful. Sometimes it can be really hard to get people to realize I am living and breathing, I’m a human too! I wound up taking a leave from dancing for two years, I got married had a kid, settled down and took a job at a bank. I was your every day suburban mom, but something was missing.

Don’t get me wrong, working at a bank was cool in theory, that 9-5 life is pretty okay. Until I realized I wasn’t happy. I suffer from IBS and Fibromyalgia; it just wasn’t working for my schedule or my pain. I got divorced, decided to recharge myself. I quit my job, and here I am in the grocery store paying for all my food in singles. I came back to dancing, back to cam work. I found myself so much older mentally, and really thinking about the interactions I have with my friends and customers. I find myself much more proud of being a sex worker. I am an everyday regular person who has decided that sex work best fits me. The emotional toll, the physical and the mental are all worth it. I find myself really connecting with the people I speak to; giving them a chance to see glimpses of the real me once they spend some time. Sex work now is giving me the ability to spend every day I have with my daughter, to travel freely, to pursue a degree I love, and manage my chronic illnesses. I am a sex worker, I am a mother, and I am a person.

Thank you so much lavender for sharing you story with us, I really appreciate your boldness and your ability to share these things with the world!

Until next time!

X

Lady L


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